All clogged up.

 Inadequate is the right word I believe. For the first time in Celebration's 17 month existence, I found myself with butterflies buzzing in my tummy. Probably partly due to the 75 pre-service, Jesse "groupies" who were delighted to find their seats an hour beforehand, and proceeded to watch us intently, practicing the same four songs they'ed hear later when service... ACTUALLY BEGAN. Or perhaps it was the fact that instead of spotting the typical weekly 20-30 visitors scattered throughout the Celebration congregation, I found myself pilfering through the unrecognized heads to find a familiar face. Nonetheless, amidst the seemingly overbearing above-stated circumstances, I found myself for the first time... nervous as all get out, and feeling more inadequate by the minute.


I was one of the vessels God was going to use to bring in His presence through worship... what if i let myself screw it up? That was on thought. Unfortunately the others weren't quite as... "spiritual". 


"Jesse Duplantis is coming!" 
"...There's so many stinking people here!!" 
"I messed up twice last time we did that song.. what if i mess up again. "
"OH NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Were just a few of my other problems.


But I realized, or i should say remembered, just a couple of minutes into worship, that with all my inadequacies and short-comings, God had chosen to use me thus far... even when I did make mistakes, (which is unfortunately more often than not). What made me think that today would be different? God is the same with 600 as He is with 300 and he the same whether I do my always job right or not... Which is simply to let Him have complete control. I couldn't change whether God showed up this morning or not. I only decided if I was going to allow myself to be a venue that He came by. 


Service couldn't have gone better this morning. It's amazing what God can do if we take the focus off of us, and what we are and aren't worthy of, and put it completely on Him, Who is worthy of it all. When we do that, it isn't us leading, it's God, and therefor God's best presentation of Himself shines through. We are His vessels which He uses to pour His spirit and power and anointing through, but if we are clogged vessels, or even dirty, what goes in pure, will come out tainted. Or won't even come out at all. I allowed myself to be "unclogged" today for Him. I just hope I continue to teach myself this lesson in the future... 
Lord only knows I'll need it.